2012 highlights.

It wasn't perfect, but it was a good year. A few highlights:

Cori got baptized in January.

We went out to Lynchburg and cooked Thanksgiving dinner for Abbey and all her friends for her birthday, also in January.

Visited the grandbabies.

Went to the Wilds in March and experienced the giant swing for the first time (with Leah).

Leah graduated from Bob Jones University with her master's degree—May.

Went to Las Vegas with Leah for job interviews, also in May. Visited the Hoover Dam while we were there. I'm happy to say she is not working there. She's an hour from home. In Virginia. Where she belongs.

Ran the Marine Corps Historic Half Marathon, also in May. It was a busy month.

Mike and Bekah came for a visit in June. We hiked in the tick-infested George Washington National Forest.

July and August were filled with deck rebuilding and arm surgery for Ben. Abbey found a house in Lynchburg and Mansquared cut grass and worked. Leah got a job teaching orchestra close to home and found a place to live. September and October were full of school and work. And the campaign.

Went to a Romney rally in Fairfax, Virginia, with Leah the day before the election.

Abbey had her senior exhibition at Liberty in November. These are just a few of the friends that came to support her.

December saw the end of the semester, a trip to Tennessee to see the grandbabies and do the layout of a book, and a quiet end to the year.

I can't complain. We had no major catastrophes and we all made it through happy and healthy. Here's to more and better in 2013.

Happy New Year!

Be thankful ~

We're parents. It's what we do.

Once again I have been chastised by one of my children for neglecting the blog.

But see, my days are chock-full of boring stuff that just isn't worthy of the energy it would take to type it all out. And I don't have much of a gift for making it into something which it is not.

Today, however, for the sake of the children, I will try.

Yesterday Abbey and two friends drove to another friend's house in Maryland, where Abbey left her truck (Wilbur), and all four drove to Connecticut for yet another friend's wedding tomorrow, for which Abbey is the photographer. They drove up to Connecticut last night so they wouldn't get caught in the winter storm that was forecast to hit our area this morning. Good thinking.

I stayed home and went to bed early.

This morning when I finally pried my eyes open at almost 8 am (!!!), I turned my phone on and saw that there were seven text messages. Most of them were from Abbey. Basically, when she got to the Maryland friend's house, they transferred all the stuff from her truck to the other girl's car, and when Abbey went to move her truck, it wouldn't start. Nothing. No click, no nothing. They tried to jump-start it, and still nothing. So she left her keys with the friend's mother and off they went to Connecticut.

Guess what Ben and I did this morning. In the snowstorm.

Yes. We drove to Maryland, where Ben cleaned the battery terminals and Wilbur still wouldn't start. So we drove home with the plan that Ben will go back with a starter tomorrow and hope that fixes it. If not, he will go up with the trailer on Tuesday and haul that bad boy home where he will do as he's told, or else.

Aren't you glad I wrote that all out?

But wait! There's more!

While we were driving, Abbey texted and asked if I could get into her Liberty email account. So I pulled up liberty.edu on my smartphone (term used extremely loosely) and spent the next 25 minutes trying to sign in. If autocorrect had been standing in front of me, I would have punched it right in the face. No fewer than five times, it changed her user ID to "apparent" and then when I finally convinced it that, NO, I REALLY WANT IT TO SAY WHAT I AM TYPING, I put in the @liberty.edu and it changed edu to education. Four times. I would erase the cation, and then a split second before I hit login, it would stick the cation back on there. If I hadn't known it would cost me hundreds of dollars, I would have thrown the stupid phone right out the window into the snowstorm-induced traffic on I-95.

Have I ever mentioned that I get carsick when I'm trying to read (or type) in a moving vehicle?

It was a stellar morning. But now we're home, the sun is shining, and I'm going to the fabric store to get the rest of what I need to put Mansquared's quilt together before he leaves in a mere 12 days and Ben and I are true empty-nesters. What ever will we do with ourselves when we don't have kids to rescue?

Be thankful ~

I can't do vacation.

I've been home for 24 hours and so far I have swept the wood floors, vacuumed the carpeted rooms and rugs, and washed, dried, and folded five loads of laundry. I had my devos in my favorite chair with coffee in my favorite mug this morning. I went to the farm for milk and eggs, and then came home and made tilapia, rice, and asparagus for lunch. There is butter softening in the mixer bowl for the first batch of cookies. The girls went to the store for me, and there is a wheelbarrow full of firewood in the garage. Pete has eaten and is happy. My first textbook for my first master's class came in the mail today (I can't believe I'm excited about a textbook that's for me), and I have made my to-do list for the rest of the week.

And finally I feel relaxed. What kind of weirdo am I?

Be thankful ~

An explanation, and then some.

You know how when you're a little kid and adults say things you don't understand, you think they're actually saying something else? I used to thing "and then some" was "and thensen" and I always wondered what thensen was. Now I know.

Anyway, I'm back! Here's what's transpired since I was last here (not counting the test post yesterday from my phone).

Abbey and I jumped in my trusty Honda last Monday morning and drove the eleven-and-a-half-very-long hours to Deb's house. On the way, we stopped at a Cracker Barrel on I-40 in Tennessee and met Amanda Bennett, whose unit studies I've been editing for the last year and a half. We've tried to meet before and something always came up, but this time, thanks to her son the chauffeur, we made it happen. And it was fun!

After an hour of fun, we climbed back in the car and drove the rest of the way to Deb's, where we had dinner and fell into bed.

Then bright and early Tuesday morning I drove to the office of a client, where I spent the rest of the day with my face buried in a computer finishing up the editing of a book. On Wednesday I took Abbey with me and she gave me a crash course in Adobe's InDesign, which I used to lay out the book—248 pages.

To say that the four days I worked on it were trying would be a gross understatement, but I made it. The book was laid out, the graphics guy rose to the challenge of drawing a circle when all I could muster was a triangle, and all's well. In the evenings I read stories to the grandsons, ate my daughter's great cooking, and washed dishes for her. 

That was Wednesday through Saturday.

This is where my excuses come into play. At Deb's house, I have cell phone reception, but no internet on my computer, so I couldn't blog. At the office, I have wireless internet to my computer but no cell phone reception and no time to blog. Twenty-first century problems.

Then this morning Abbey and I got up at 4:30, climbed back in old Trusty, and drove home in 11 hours. Can you tell I was hurrying? I did not get a ticket, although I should have.

Now it's 7:44 pm and I've swept up some dog hair, done a little laundry, had pizza for dinner and a hot bath in my own bathtub, and I'm ready for bed.

Also, I figured out how to sync my blog with my phone. I'm pretty sure that option was available twelve years ago but I don't like to rush into things. Anyway, now I have no excuse not to post.

Be thankful ~

Test

This is a test. This is only a test. The broadcasters in your area . . . Oh, never mind. Sent from Yahoo! Mail on Android

The rest of the story.

And then you go to the state police office the next day at 2:45 pm and stand in line with your notarized forms and ten dollar bill only to be told that fingerprinting is done Monday through Friday from 11 am to 1 pm.

Shoot me.

Be thankful ~

I know why there are not more teachers.

I may have mentioned that I'm looking into master's programs online. The one I like best (and will probably do) is with Liberty University Online. Because they don't get enough of my money.

This week I'm trying to get all the paperwork done: the transcripts, the application, the FAFSA, the DD214 and marriage certificate (to prove I'm a military spouse), and the fingerprinting. Yes, you read that right.

Because it's a master's in education, I have to submit to a background check, a child abuse check, and fingerprinting by the FBI.

To start this process, you click the innocent-looking link at Liberty's website. You fill out the questionnaire, pay your $57, and submit.

A few days later you receive a packet in the mail. You fill out those forms according to very strict instructions. DO NOT LEAVE ANY QUESTION BLANK. IF IT DOES NOT PERTAIN TO YOU, YOU MUST WRITE N/A IN THE BLANK. Then you sign that form in the presence of a notary public and mail it to the address specified in the instructions.

Two days later you receive a second packet. You begin to fear going to the mailbox. This packet contains instructions, two forms, and a fingerprint card. You fill out and sign the first form. You fill out the second form in the presence of a notary public. PLEASE NOTE: THE FBI WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY SUBMISSIONS WHOSE EXPIRATION OF COMMISSION IS GOING TO EXPIRE WITHIN 90 DAYS OF SUBMITTING FINGERPRINTING MATERIALS. PLEASE DOUBLE CHECK THE EXPIRATION DATE OF THE PERSON NOTARIZING YOUR FORM.

I asked the lady who was notarizing my form when she planned to expire, and she assured me it would not be within the next 90 days.

Then you take the fingerprint card to the local sheriff's department, where your insane property taxes are not enough to cover this once-in-a-lifetime event, and you must pay $15 to be fingerprinted. But only on Wednesday and Friday from 1 to 4 pm. You realize this is Tuesday. Or you may choose the state police office, which performs this service Monday through Friday for $10.

So you opt for the state police. You make the drive to their local office, and while waiting in line you notice the sign that says FEES FOR FINGERPRINTING MUST BE IN THE FORM OF CASH OR BUSINESS CHECK. NO PERSONAL CHECKS. NO CREDIT/DEBIT CARDS.

Fantastic.

Back in the car. Drive to the bank. Get a $10 bill. Feel special that you have actual cash money in your wallet for the first time since 1982. Back to state police office. Realize that it is now after 5 pm and office is closed.

Hence, the reason we have a nationwide teacher shortage.

Be thankful ~

A short spelling lesson.

I bring this up because I've seen it in many places recently. I've even seen professional writers use it. And their professional editors missed it. It's an epidemic with no apparent cure.

Here's what I'm talking about: the past tense of the verb lead (as in you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink) is led. But I keep seeing it written lead, as in the stuff bullets used to be made of. (In case you're wondering, lead is being phased out because we don't want to poison the wildlife; we just want to shoot it. Makes perfect sense.) Here are two examples I saw in the last five  minutes:

So-and-so lead with his helmet. (describing how a football player is not supposed to tackle)

blah blah blah, which lead to blah blah blah. (from the blog of a professional writer)

In each case the word should be led. Today I lead; yesterday I led.

Go forth and write correctly.

Be thankful ~

Revelations.

Not the Biblical kind. That book is actually called Revelation with no s. If you read the first few verses, you'll see that it is "The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him . . . and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John." It's sort of a heavenly game of telephone. But just one revelation.

This post has nothing to do with that. It has to do with some revelations of my own—things I found out today.

First, I've been struggling trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up now that my children are all finished being homeschooled. I've been working as an editor from home for the past four years, but with the last two kids in the most expensive school in the country (Liberty U.) and us not qualifying for financial aid and retirement coming at breakneck speed, it would be good for me to have a full-time job. So I've spent the last year applying for editor-type jobs, mostly in the defense contracting world. And it's the same every time: we love you, we think you're perfectly qualified, but you have no defense experience.

So recently I started thinking about getting my master's degree so I could teach in a community college. My dream job would be teaching English to kids who weren't taught how to write a paragraph, much less an essay or term paper, in high school. And believe me, there are plenty of them out there.

Anyway, I've looked at a bunch of different schools, and found the program I really like at Liberty University Online.

Do you think God has a sense of humor? As if sending two kids there isn't enough, now we can pay tuition for three.

So today I had the idea that—ye have not because ye ask not—I would call and ask if I could get a discount because I already have two students there and really, how much blood can you get out of a rock? And what I learned was this: they don't care if you have twelve students there; you pay the same price as everyone else. Fill out the FAFSA and take loans like the rest of America.

But THEN . . . (and this is a BIG THEN) I mentioned that my husband is retired military, and the financial aid people couldn't throw money at me fast enough. Basically, I can get my master's degree for half price. HALF PRICE! This might be the best military discount I've ever gotten, glory to God. Amen and amen.

That was my first revelation.

The second one came just moments ago.

You know how I love autocorrect, right? Well I just snapped a photo of Pete snoring in front of the woodstove, even though you can't hear the snore in the photo. And I typed this caption on Instagram:

Pete snore in front of the woodstove. I thought you'd want to know. Also, autocorrect changes woodstove to bookstore.

I had to fight to get the word woodstove in there twice.

Then after it had posted, I noticed snore didn't have the s it needed. So I typed a correction below it:

*snore*

Which I noticed after I posted it still didn't have the s.

At this point I was getting huffy.

So I deleted that correction and typed it again, this time noticing that autocorrect did not want to put the s on the end of snores.

Now somebody please explain to me the problem with putting the s on the end of snores. Why can't I have that s there? Is this some kind of vast, right-wing conspiracy to keep us from spelling correctly? Is it the grammatical equivalent of the fiscal cliff?

Here's what I think: smartphones are only as smart as the people who program them. And they probably don't have woodstoves or dogs who snore.

Be thankful ~

Tuesday.

December 4th, and it was in the mid-70s today. I sat on the deck with my afternoon coffee in a T-shirt and jeans.

Let me rephrase that.

I sat on the deck in a T-shirt and jeans with my afternoon coffee. It was beautiful! Then my beloved came home from a short trip to New Jersey and joined me on the deck with a buttered hard roll to share. If you're not from Jersey, that probably doesn't mean much to you. But to us, it's a treasure to be savored on a lovely, warm day with a cup of coffee. The rolls you get at a grocery store bakery—the ones they call Kaiser rolls—are nothing like a good hard roll. Hard rolls are a unique breed of bread. New Jerseyans know what I'm talking about. He wasn't able to bring home my favorite crumb cake though. Mueller's is within a block of the beach and sustained serious damage in hurricane Sandy. I'm not sure when they'll reopen.

I also managed to clean both bathrooms, do all the laundry, and furminate the dog today, and I was only 8 minutes late for my weekly phone conference. My co-workers all laughed at me when I told them I was late because I was on Pinterest. I love my job.

Ben cooked dinner tonight: pork roll, fried egg, and cheese sandwiches on hard rolls. Again, the New Jersey thing. It was amazing.

That is all.

Be thankful ~

Pumpkin bread wars.

Remember when I said I was thankful for my kids who make me laugh? It just keeps coming.

You all know I'm famous for my pumpkin bread. My family will do just about anything to get some. Well last Thursday I decided to make a batch for my farmer-lady who was celebrating a birthday. As soon as he realized what I was doing, Mansquared started moaning and complaining about how I NEVER make him any goodies and after ALL the work he does carrying FIREWOOD and raking LEAVES how could I make PUMPKIN BREAD and give it all AWAY??

So I made two batches. I'm easily manipulated. Plus I wanted pumpkin bread.

Twenty-four hours, only the last two inches of the last loaf was left. Ben happened to be in the kitchen and noticed this, so he did what any of the males in my house would normally do. He hid it.

In here. This is the cabinet right above the toaster.

On the top shelf of this cabinet is a basket that holds medicines, odd vitamins, and Zicam. Today I was looking for the Zicam, and when I pulled down the basket, lo and behold, there was that last chunk of pumpkin bread. And before I knew what I was doing, I said (out loud), "Ha! Dad hid the last of the pumpkin bread in the medicine basket!" (Ben was not home at the time.)

At that, Mansquared came running into the kitchen, incredulous that he had been denied the object of his stomach's deep and abiding love once again. He snatched it away and took a big bite, while he was walking to the computer for a blank piece of paper.

In place of the pumpkin bread, he left this note:

Be thankful ~