Thursday, November 29, 2007

My brain on drugs. Part 2

So the drowsiness is wearing off, slightly. For two days I've been able to get a few things done, and even managed a long division problem involving decimals. With help from Elijah. However, other difficulties are cropping up.

Last night Ben came home with another torn cuff on a pair of dress slacks. The same cuff, in fact, that I fixed two weeks ago. Now he would be the first to admit that he's pretty hard on clothes. His best bet is chainmail, but that doesn't always go over well in the office. So while I was examining it, he was explaining that it ripped again because I didn't use small enough stitches.

And something in me snapped.

Bless his heart, he just didn't understand why I told him he should just throw the lousy pants in the garbage because they were obviously no good, that he couldn't have pants with a cuff that wouldn't get torn apart by his other shoe every time he tried to get out of the car, and while he was at it, he might as well junk the stupid car because if he couldn't get out of it without ripping his pants, it wasn't worth having. *huff*

Then we both started laughing, because this is obviously not me speaking, but the effects of my lovely anti-depressant which is supposed to keep me from having headaches, which is also not doing the job.

So I said, "God help me if I ever really need it to anti-depress me - it just makes me crabby." To which he replied, "No, God help ME," and we laughed again. He's a keeper.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs.

I have headaches. I haven't always, just since a sinus infection in September. Two antibiotics and the infection was gone, but the pain remains. After three doctor visits and a CT scan, we've determined there's no cause for the pain, so here's the explanation I get: when a certain group of nerves is irritated for a period of time, they get "activated" and keep sending pain signals to the brain. So my sinus nerves are activated. What's the cure? Anti-depressants. No kidding. Dr. D. prescribed Elavil in the smallest dose available. I asked about side effects and was told there wouldn't be any with that tiny amount.

Think again.

I took the first one Monday night before bed. Slept like a petrified log, which could have its benefits, but I never did fully wake up on Tuesday. I spent the day in a mental thick-as-pea-soup fog. I'll have to go back and re-check the kids' schoolwork for that day - there's no telling what came out of my mouth. By the end of the day I was completely worked up, thinking I would be feeling like that for the next month while we wait to see if this treatment will really work. I couldn't drive, couldn't shop (e-gads!), couldn't teach my kids (lucky for them), couldn't get ANYTHING done! I was near tears thinking of how negatively this would affect my family, and really! These are supposed to be ANTI-depressants! Hmph!

Today has been better, so I'm hopeful that the side-effect-I-wouldn't-have will go away once my body adjusts to the drug. I really hate the sound of that - I just hate the thought of taking any kind of drug, but if it gets rid of the headaches permanently, I guess it will be worth it.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Monday, November 26, 2007

One more thing.

Although this has nothing to do with the last post, except that it also includes Pete. Well, that would be the last two posts, but who's counting, right?



Anyway, I have been looking for months for a picture of my two dogs, one of whom is no more, and finally found it in some obscure, out-of-the-way, very neatly hidden folder on this computer, and I just had to share it with you. Pete is the big bulldog, Spanky the little Yorkie. Spanky couldn't stand Pete. He barely tolerated him, but we did manage to get a picture of the two of them together, sharing the coveted spot in front of the woodstove:

Now everybody say, "Awwwwww!" Actually, just seconds after I snapped this photo, Spanky got up disgustedly and walked away. *sigh*

Be thankful ~

Karen

Boys will be boys. And so will men.

I love my son-in-law. He is everything a mother could ever want for her daughter - kind, happy, smart, hard-working, a good provider, good leader, all-around great guy. But he is also the daring type. Now that's not all his fault - I blame it on his dad and brothers. These are the people who took us bridge jumping. Yes, jumping off a 19-foot high bridge into the Buffalo River. One brother actually climbed to the top of the bridge (an old trestle-type railroad bridge), did a handstand on the top rail, and jumped 40 feet into the river below. And lest you think 19 feet is not so high, I suggest you get up there and look down at the flourescent green water below. Abbie got up there and threw up (she did eventually jump, much to her credit).



These guys drive all the way to South Dakota to ride their dirtbikes in the desert so they can go faster. They skydive. They bungee-jump. They have no health insurance.



We are not this way. So when they come to visit they have to make their own adventures. Saturday afternoon, David and Elijah were outside searching for possibilities, when David was inspired.


By the leaves.

See, our yard is surrounded by oak and poplar trees - the kind with zillions of leaves - so our little acre-and-a-half is covered about six inches deep. That may not sound like a lot, but here's what their pile in the back looked like:



They had raking help from Mike, Abbie, and Ashton, the neighbor kid whose mother has regularly scheduled nervous breakdowns because of the activities he engages in at our house. Usually when David is here. Now I thought (silly me) they were just raking up leaves to play in. But no. There has to be an element of danger involved, or it's no fun. Here's what really happened:

Yes, that's the young man with no health insurance jumping off the deck from 12 feet up into the pile of leaves. They tried to get Pete to jump, but he's smarter than they are.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Saturday, November 24, 2007

My Double-Jointed Bulldog

We've been having a great week and weekend with Darlin' and her husband visiting, and having Thanksgiving dinner with more of our family. I have stories to tell, but for now I'll leave you with a picture of my 73 pound American bulldog, Pete, and his odd habit of stretching out full-length.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Hey, I'm not as illiterate as I thought!

Now how exciting is this?? I'm actually writing at a high school level! Not bad for a 46-year-old college graduate who's been teaching her own children at home for 17 years, huh?

I can't believe I'm patting myself on the back for this. How lame. Try it and see how you do.

Be thankful ~

Karen

I have been outworked by a 75-year-old.

Our teens had a work-day at church today. My two were looking forward to it, because in most churches the teens don't know how to work, so they are given easy, meaningless tasks that any three-year-old could complete.

Not so at Faith.

You see, we are building yet another building. The current 500-seat auditorium is not big enough, and the school is quickly outgrowing its facility. There is much to be done.

We arrived at 9 am. The guy running the work-day gave us this run-down: move several stacks of lumber inside the new building, rake the rocks out of an island between the parking lot and new driveway (about 25' x 200', solid packed clay with rocks the size of footballs), weed and mulch the other 7 islands in the parking lot, plus the playground and a row of small trees alongside the soccer field, find and dig up the loose end of a drainpipe that was inadvertantly buried in same clay with rocks the size of footballs (we only have a general idea of where this drainpipe might be, so we'll be fishing for it with pick-axes). We'll get more assignments after lunch.

After lunch??

We took turns raking the rocks because it was the hardest work. After an hour of that I decided my back wouldn't live to see the next day if I kept it up, so I offered to supervise a group of young ladies doing the weeding and mulching.

Bad move. Mary Scott showed up.

Mary Scott is 75 years old and is the caretaker for an "old lady," as she puts it. Mary spends two Saturdays a month at the church, helping with whatever work anybody happens to be doing. So today she was my "helper." She immediately gave the "children" (her term) lessons in digging out weeds. You have to get the roots, you know. Nevermind that it's Bermuda grass whose roots reach to China, dig deeper and you'll find them. When each island was certified weed-free, we began the laying of mulch. We parked the wheelbarrows next to the islands and started throwing armfuls around the bushes. Wrong. "Let me show you how this is done," says Mary, disgusted at our inefficiency. She grabs the wheelbarrow from a young man, picks it up (I am NOT exaggerating here), and dumps the whole thing in the center of the island. "Now start spreading! And don't make it too thin. The first time it rains it'll all get washed away," a theme we heard repeatedly throughout the VERY long day.

Mary works like a mule, and we all left being "rode hard and put up wet" as my husband likes to say. My back is screaming, fingertips almost bloody, arms aching.

Next time I'm raking rocks.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Thursday, November 15, 2007

This is the last straw!

Ha ha ha??? Are you kidding me? Of all the preposterous, ridiculous, moronic politically correct things to come up with, now Santa Claus can't say "Ho ho ho" because it might offend females? I am serious - I read this on Yahoo news this morning and can't find the story now to link for you, but that's what it said. Females might be offended. I say if it offends you, change your deviant behavior. What are we to think with Santa going, "Ha ha ha" at everyone?

*shaking my head*

Be thankful ~

Karen

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Jeans and noodles and sweat, oh my!

Abbie and I went to run errands today and one of them was hunting a new pair of jeans for her. This is no small task. In case you can't tell by her picture, she is l-o-n-g and t-h-i-n. 5"7" and about 110 pounds with her soaking wet three-foot long hair. She doesn't like skin tight jeans, hates stretch denim, detests skinny jeans, and is tired of expensive jeans that rip at the knee after three months. So our first stop was Ross - you know, the "dress for less" place. We usually have good success finding her things there. And wouldn't you know, she found a pair of bootcut Levi's with just a little bit of stretch that fit great and were only $12.99. Can you imagine?? That's a bargain in anybody's book!

And Abbie has been doing a lot of driving since she has her permit and has to log 40 hours behind the wheel with Mom or Dad. AND there is a lot of new construction going on in the nearest shopping center. The whole thing has only been open for a year and they are still adding to it. So as we're driving through we always look at the new buildings trying to figure out what they're going to be. Well today Abbie was supposed to be watching the road when she spied the word "Noodle" out of the corner of one eye and exclaimed, "Hey! It's a Noodle. . . um. . . shack!"

Noodle Shack?

Is that redneck Vietnamese cuisine? I guess we'll find out.

Tomorrow I get the thrill of grocery shopping and getting back to the gym. I haven't worked out since last week on account of my injured groin muscle which I have been successfully milking for all it's worth. But all good things must come to an end, so back to the sweat mill I go.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Pity me. I'm in pain.

It's been a few hours since I wrote that last post and it's been nagging at me. So I went back and re-read it and figured out that I never completed my original thought, which was this: all that working out in the gym never bothered me, but painting for one day has laid me out. Flat. I have pain in places I didn't know existed on my body. Hands, arms, legs, feet, back, neck. Everything hurts. And it's affecting my ability to think. Sorry for the miscommunication.

Be thankful ~

Karen

And it's made by BMW!

I have good news for those of you who really want to get in shape. You DON'T have to go to the gym! Now don't you feel better?



I have been going to the gym faithfully for one week - ok, so it's not that long, but hear me out - and have felt pretty good. Yesterday Ben, Elijah and I, along with my brother, his wife, and one daughter painted the interior of my parents' house, every room except the kitchen, including ceilings and trim. This also included taping off the recently refinished hardwood floors AND the million-paned windows. The house was built in 1961 - a very good year if I do say so myself - and was last owned by a very old, blind widow. She didn't care about the one bedroom that was jail-cell gray - walls, ceiling, trim, and windows. She couldn't see it. She wasn't bothered by the other bedroom literally covered from floor to ceiling in seasick blue. And it never crossed her mind that the rest of the house (and I am not exaggerating here) was pink.



Used bubble gum pink.



Walls, ceiling, trim, even the fireplace. Yes, it was an incredible task, but today the house is looking great and my Dad is breathing a sigh of relief. Moving day is the 16th and we're just a tad behind schedule. There is backer-board on the kitchen floor while boxes of tile sit in the corner. Most kitchen cabinets are installed, but some are scattered hither and yon. The double wall-oven is on the floor in the utility room and there are no other appliances in sight. No granite countertop. No lighting. No plumbing to the kitchen. There is water, even hot, in the bathrooms, but one entire shower wall crumbled the first time my Dad got in it. That's another story. I imagine this would be a trying experience for most of us, but it's even more so for Mom and Dad because they are 72.



This whole thing has been a study in contrasts for me. My parents are pretty technologically up-to-date for their age. They have a cell phone. When Mom complained to me that Dad could never reach her because the phone never rang, I showed her how to turn it on. They have two computers - one for household stuff and a laptop for Mom to e-mail and play with. Dad won't share his. But Mom is getting a refrigerator with her first-ever ice maker. Can you imagine? 72 and she's never had an ice maker?



My Dad was telling me the other day about a car he had when he was in his early 20's. It's called an Isetta and here it is:


It has one narrow bench seat and a little shelf in the back where they put my infant brother Jim. You get in by opening the front of the car and sitting down, then pull the front closed. The gas tank holds 2 gallons and has a reserve tank. He thinks it got around 50 mpg. It cost 70 cents to fill the tank. This was their only car.

We've come a long way in 72 years!

Be thankful ~

Karen

Friday, November 9, 2007

I will NOT use a stupid pun here. . .

Who says living in Northern Virginia is boring? Why, yesterday it was positively delicious.

In one of our legendary traffic backups on I-95, we found out today that the culprit was a trucker driving under the influence of PCP. Here's the story. The driver almost ran over a Honda Civic, veered onto the shoulder, and turned over on the side of the road, spilling his load of pickles and jalapeno peppers. In the end everyone in the four-mile traffic jam was feeling sour. (Sorry, I couldn't help it.) In the three years I've lived here, we've seen trucks hit overpasses, spill HCl, dump a load of pigs, and now pickles. As if our traffic woes weren't bad enough, now we all go home smelling like vinegar and dill. Now let's see, if the pigs and pickles had been dumped at the same time, we could have had an awesome barbecue. How sad that we missed the opportunity!

Be thankful ~

Karen

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

I could do bicep curls with my iron

I am such a loser, but thankfully, my husband's love covers a multitude of loser-ness. Did you ever feel like no matter how much you get done, it's not enough?

I live there.

So last night I was in bed reading and by 8:45 I could not keep my eyes open or hold up my latest copy of National Review, so I turned my light off and was incoherent in seconds. Ben came in a few minutes later to pack his gym bag for the next day and while I wasn't looking, I could tell by the sounds that the ironing board was being taken out to the living room, along with the iron and four shirts sitting on a trunk waiting for attention. I tried to jump out of bed to iron, but my dear gently put me back, kissed me on the head and turned his light off. Now that's a real man. I'm glad he's mine.

Yesterday afternoon Elijah and I went over to the Y and met with a personal trainer. Sue took us around the "wellness room" and set up a personal plan for each of us. Which machine, how much weight, where the seat is set, how many reps. It was fun and we were amazed at how much more weight Elijah can do than I can. Well, Elijah wasn't amazed. He was laughing at me. But I still hold the ace - I do the cooking, so his laughter won't last long. When it comes to teenage boys, he who holds the key to the kitchen laughs last. At the bicep machine, Sue demonstrated how it worked and then put me on it. I did a few curls and remarked, "It feels like too much weight."

pause

Sue answered, "It doesn't GET any lighter."

I have some training to do.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

By the end of the day I'll be a drowned gym rat

Today is errand day. That is a drag on several fronts, but mostly because it's raining, and even though we are in the midst of a ten-month drought which has us under a statewide burn ban which will ruin our Thanksgiving plans of camping and cooking the traditional feast over an open fire, I still don't want it to rain on errand day.

In other terrible news, Ben signed us up for a year at the YMCA last night. You know what this means, don't you? It means that I am all out of excuses. Please help me here - I have never been a gym rat and don't even know where to begin. I am totally intimidated by big machines and all that grunting and sweating. Isn't it bad for your hair or something? Won't the stress of it cause my blood pressure to be dangerously high? I think I'd better have another dark chocolate - you never can have enough anti-oxidants, you know. And I'm all about taking care of my health.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Monday, November 5, 2007

Where do I Start?

Well. I am exhausted.

Our dear friends, Tom and Karen Wright of Wright's Hearth, Heat, and Home in Asheville, NC, came to visit us this weekend. We have been friends since before Ben and I married - Tom and Ben were in the Navy together oh, so long ago. They did one tour, got out and moved back to their home in Asheville because Tom's elderly Dad was "in his last days" and they wanted to be with him. That was in 1980.


Papaw is now 91, still drives, walks 4 miles a day, spends his days at their store sweeping, vacuuming, and generally helping out however he can. My last days should be so long.

So they came to visit which is rare because we're all so busy, but they are especially so at this time of year. It's the nature of a chimney sweep/woodstove/hearth-type business. And boy howdy, did we have a fun time. You know how you have some friends who are enjoyable, but then you have friends you can totally let your hair down with? Be completely free with? That's Tom and Karen. We never laugh so much as when we're with them, and then it's almost non-stop. Karen shared this story from their business:

Sheila works in the office answering phones and scheduling appointments. She is very conscientious and wants to be totally professional. So one day they hear the following announcement over the PA in the store:

Karen, line one. Line one for Karen.

pause

Or was it line two?

pause

(panic rising) Oh God, what line was it??

The PA has been disconnected.

So we spent the weekend eating and laughing. What could be better? Friday Ben and Tom went golfing while Karen and I went shopping, and then on Saturday Karen and Abbie and I went up to DC to see the monuments. We walked until we had blisters and arthritic hips. When we finally decided it was time to get home we stopped in the Smithsonian castle to use the restroom before getting on the metro. While we were hand-washing, we noticed a padded bench right there in the ladies' room! Now let me tell you, there never was a more welcome sight! So we sat right down, laughing about how out of shape we all are. And since Karen was trying to document her fun day on film, I took a picture of Abbie and her sitting in the restroom. With paper towel dispensers as backdrop. Then a woman came in and offered to take one of all three of us. On a padded bench in the ladies' room in a DC museum. I think we'll put that one on the cover of the scrapbook.

Be thankful ~

Karen

Thursday, November 1, 2007

I Need a Sedative

Folks, my day is so jam-packed full of excitement I don't think I can start it without a sedative. First I'm grocery shopping. Then I'm cleaning my house. And after that Elijah has PE at the Y, then home to make dinner. Hold me back, I just can't stand the anticipation.

But lest I leave you hopeless, I'll share this quote from my daughter, Abbie:

Last night I was lying in my bed staring at the stars twinkling in the sky, when I wondered, where the heck is the ceiling?

Be thankful ~

Karen